A Rough Two Weeks

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Earlier last week, my mother was ill and I was trying to get her to go to the doctor or hospital because she had been complaining of stomach pain all day, but at the same time, she kept telling me she felt better. It wasn’t until she became incoherent that I had to call 9-11 to get her to the emergency room.  Mind you NONE of this experience helped with my anxiety, as a matter of fact, my anxiety kicked in OVERTIME.

Flashback November 2016 I had a similar instance with a friend of mine who was feeling “something,” but she wasn’t sure what that something was and when I asked her if she needed me to call an ambulance she said she wasn’t sure. It wasn’t until she collapsed that I knew something was terribly wrong. I ended up calling the ambulance and it took them over an hour to arrive and when they finally arrived I told them that she had been waiting for a long time and they claimed that they only received a dispatch 10 minutes prior to them arriving at her house.   

This was like déjà vu all over again, the difference was that I wasn’t in a foreign land. I had just returned to the states a week prior and I was preparing to start work in three days. When I called the ambulance, the fire department was at the door before I hung up with dispatch. They came in and assessed her situation and knew that something was wrong, but they couldn’t tell at that moment. We went to the emergency room and they ran a battery of test on her to rule out things. It was about 3:00 a.m. when the doctors told me that they were still waiting on her test results and if I wanted I could go back home and get some rest (or something that resembled rest in these types of situations.)   

When I returned, I found out that she was having surgery in a couple of hours because her body was going into septic shock (note to self: when they say do your Googles, that doesn’t necessarily mean you should. Especially when you are in a state of panic and confusion and it appears that your mother isn’t going to make it, when I looked up these two TOXIC words I was scared and didn’t know what I should do). Prayer was my only recourse because that was the only thing I could do for her and myself. My mother and I have a pretty good relationship, but it wasn’t always that way because she wasn’t present for a good portion of my formative years. It took some time and patience to rebuild and honestly, we’re still working on it, so the thought of her not being present (again) in my life was unimaginable.   

Of course, I am aware that we all have an expiration date, but I’m prayerful that she will be restored and we can continue to have a more fruitful time together. Well, I am happy to say that it has been a little over a week and she’s shown tremendous improvement. She’s not completely out the woods yet, but she’s definitely not where she was. Once she fully recovers we can get back to our regularly scheduled program and enjoy this amazing city.   

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Community is necessary

January 1, 2018

#IMMAKINGITHAPPEN, #IMGETTINITPOPPIN, #NEWYEARNEWME…. these are all the sayings that you see as the new year is about to approach. This year I chose none of those for 2018. With that being said 2017 wasn’t as eventful as it should’ve been, but I definitely went out with a bang (as you can see). On December 14 I fell and ended up with two arm cast all while living abroad. Initially, I had a hard time trying to understand why/how this could happen. I still struggle with it from time to time, but it’s getting better. I’m not a big believer in coincidences, so normally when things happen I try to use it as a learning experience. This is not always my initial reaction, but after the dust settles I try to learn from every experience whether it was good or bad. I believe that in order to change, growth is necessary and as I get older I never want to be that person that remained the same from five, 10, or 20 years ago. Ideally, I want to evolve into the best possible version of myself. Over the next month my goal is to post the lessons, experiences and funnies that I believe will carry me through this year and give me the ability to create a fruitful and prosperous year that will provide the catalyst to my destiny.

1. I need community

The saying “no man is an island to himself,” is very accurate for me. When you live abroad your community constantly changes because people come and go. This particular season of my life I don’t have the community that I once had. Mainly because my previous community has moved back to the states and I moved to a different school in a different location. The area that I currently live in is filled with a majority of people who are married with children and naturally their priorities are family first as opposed to someone that is single with no kids (me). It wasn’t until my accident that I realized I had a community of women (mostly mothers) that came to my rescue. These are people that I work with on a day-to-day basis and even though I see them in school and we don’t necessarily have conversation outside of a simple hello, they cared enough about me to offer help. After my fall I wasn’t thinking that I wouldn’t be able to do anything for myself (I know it would seem obvious, but I think I was in a state of shock for the first few days) it wasn’t until they brought it to my attention and asked me if they could send someone to help me during my time of need. Although I have no problem with helping others, I am not a big proponent of people helping me. It is very difficult for me to accept help. Which is something I’m working on, but this experience has given me a lesson in humility. I’m a very private person and I don’t like a lot of people in my house. The community that I didn’t know I had showed up to make sure that I was okay and they swooped in and showed me kindness during this holiday season. Holidays are always tough for me because I’m not with my family and friends. As “coincidence,” would have it my mother booked her flight last August and was coming to visit me during this Christmas season. Help came in the form of a woman who happened to be the same age and stature as my mother and she taught me some valuable lessons during this short time that she was here to help me. The biggest one was why I need community and I can’t retreat and isolate yourself. I will use that lesson to spread my wings.